Lost In Space

I haven’t been writing in here as often as I intended, and I realize it’s because I’m often having trouble finding my words lately. I think in the past when I’ve felt that way, I could sit at the piano and play and play till the wheels started turning again. But now I just look at my instruments, sigh, and walk away. I find myself more easily frustrated, feel like things don’t make a lot of sense, but I can’t really pinpoint why. And I’m the type of person that NEEDS to know why. So I finally sat down and gave it some thought.

Moving to New Jersey was all about stepping outside my comfort zone–something I’d dare say I’ve rarely ever done in my life. When I was young, I was too afraid. When I was bolder, I could no longer afford it. Now I’m finally at a point where I’m blessed enough to have a chance to explore, and I just. don’t. know. what. I’m. doing. I’ve always played it safe–studied a major I didn’t love but knew I could get decent grades in, took jobs I didn’t love but knew I could get by in. I played roles I knew how to play. I knew what I needed to do to be a “good Chinese daughter” and be praised by Auntie So-and-so. Now I finally have an opportunity to discover what truly fulfills and pleases me without judgment, and I realize I have no idea how to. I’ve learned that stepping out of your comfort zone is more like leaving earth–you don’t simply end up on another planet, but instead you start floating around in space.

Don’t get me wrong, exploring space is REALLY cool. But it opens up a bunch of new risks I’ve never faced before, and naturally means I’m going to fail more often than I used to. I don’t understand why things don’t make sense when I literally just shook my whole life up. Of course a lot of things aren’t. Of course I’m no longer going to always know what I’m supposed to do next. Of course I’m going to be more fragile than I’ve ever been. That was the whole point, Ting! I just had a job interview that pretty much ended with “you’re not a fit for this role because you’re new to the area.” I wasn’t upset about it, but it sure gave a very clarifying sense of reality.

And so here I am, lost in space. Do I just find the next nearest planet and make a crash landing? Do I keep hoping a perfect planet will come my way before I run out of oxygen? Will I drag down the one person that’s stuck with the “new me” while I spend my days just gazing at the stars? Will I be strong enough to create new tethers for myself and discover a new normal?

I don’t know. All I know for now is I’m not going back to earth. So I better get used to sucking at things, and, frankly, suck it up.

Prada Spam

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but it’s hard to write much today because, as some of you know, I got in a car accident yesterday because someone reversed into me trying to get a better look at a plant? Yea, can you believe? And to think I thought my biggest car problem would be the squirrels…but we’ll save my continued car troubles for another post. Until then, I was told the internet wants more pictures of Prada, so here you go:

Hi, I’m Prada. This is my usual mood. I’m humoring Ting because she’s had some real crappy luck lately. And I was promised dinner afterwards.

I like to sleep, in particular on fuzzy things like Ting’s pajama pants. (Look at me I’m so cute. Come feed me.)

Does this pose make me look thinner?

This is my catnip tea bag. I like sitting on it and getting stoned.

Belly rubs are worth the embarrassing photos. Ting’s still rude though.

But I forgive her sometimes cuz I like her body heat.

And because I forget sometimes I’m too old to be jumping onto sinks. But I just wanted warm water from the sink…uh…help me down please?

Worst of all, Ting likes to pose me with weird things, and I hate it. They’re not even edible.

What? It’s dinnertime? K internet, smell ya later.

Moving Across the Country on a Budget

aka Why I did not U-Haul to New Jersey

When I was creating this blog, one of the suggested titles was “U-Hauled to NJ.” For those of you who get the reference, it’s indeed clever, but on the contrary, I was quite upset about not being able to literally U-haul over, so here’s the story on that.

I had barely done any moving research because I’d already decided in my head that a cargo van would be the perfect size to carry everything I wanted to carry, while not being difficult to drive, hard to park, or eat as much gas. As I merrily went to U-haul’s website, I put in my parameters to find all the options EXCEPT cargo van. I went onto the customer service chat, and they confirmed that cargo vans were unavailable for cross country trips. In fact, the cheapest option was their 10 foot truck, and the quote was a whopping $2700. I was devastated.

I then expanded my search and found that Penske and Budget also did not rent cargo vans, but had 12-foot trucks available in the low $2,000s. Dang U-haul, you’re renting a smaller truck for whopping lot more. You are really milking your brand recognition.

So I went back to the drawing board and looked at all the options. Luckily quite a few of my friends were moving as well, so I learned you can ship your stuff very inexpensively through Amtrak. Yes, by train! Your stuff has to fit in 3×3 boxes, you probably won’t want to put anything fragile in it, and you have to drop off and pick up at an Amtrak station on your own, but it’ll barely cost you anything. However, as most of you know, what I was hauling over was mostly my collectibles, so that was out of the question for me. But awesome knowledge!

PODS I’ve heard is generally pretty safe, but they also quoted upper $2000s. We started instead looking at the largest possible vehicle rented by car rental companies, which is a Ford Transit. The cost would only be in the upper $1000s, you just look kind of ridiculous driving around a 12-seater since we couldn’t exactly remove the seats for a one-way drive. Cook suggested we look into suburbans, as they’re spacious, the cost would be mid $1000s, and their seats go forward–and that’s when we got lucky.

When Cook mentioned that the seats fold, I automatically assumed she meant down instead of forward. I called Avis to ask if they had the newer models that did fold down, and the very helpful lady said suburban seats don’t fold down, but they had minivans that did. She told me to just call the morning of the rental and request a Chrysler Pacifica, and I’d be set. I looked up the prices of a minivan rental, and it was just around $1k with taxes and fees. SWEEEET!!!

Now the only downside is I spent like a month and a half in anxiety worrying what if I didn’t get that van specifically. Luckily, my credit card came with Avis Preferred, so I figured if anything that should increase my chances for priority car selection. So I called bright and early at 6am, said I needed the stow n go, and a couple of hours later, the app showed my Chrysler Pacifica was waiting for me to pick up its keys. WHEW!

So many of you have probably heard me blab about this van, but man, it was really solid. All the back seats folded down into the ground, giving me ample space–I essentially got the cargo van I had wanted in the beginning. At no point (even when we were climbing up what felt like a billion feet in Colorado) did it feel like we were hauling my collectibles, clothes, 4 guitars, and a few pieces of furniture. The drive was smooth and steady and secure. A++. Thank you, Pacifica. Thank you, helpful Avis lady. Bless stow n gos!

So what did we learn? U-haul may be the way to go for local moves, but long distance, not so much (a friend of mine rented a tow trailer for a cross-country move, and they charged her a 7-day minimum). If you don’t mind spending some cash, just get a pod. If you want low budget, look into Amtrak. But if you’re somewhere in between like me, look into the Chrysler Pacifica. And it’s cheapest when you rent and return at an airport!